


Love is Watching Someone Die

by fantastic_rambles



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Family, Future Fic, Mild Language, One Shot, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28773300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantastic_rambles/pseuds/fantastic_rambles
Summary: Seto is dying, and Mokuba is desperate to find something-anything-that will keep his big brother alive. So Seto needs to teach him one more lesson: how to let go.Inspired by "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie.





	Love is Watching Someone Die

**Author's Note:**

> I admittedly never followed Yu-Gi-Oh very much, but one character has always fascinated me from the moment I first saw him threatening to throw himself off a castle for his brother's sake. And as the years pass, I find myself being able to relate to him even more--the way he doesn't give a shit what people think about him and will even go so far as to kill for the sake of the one person who he truly cares about. I've always been hesitant to touch him for fear of marring what I see as a deeply complex character, and indeed, this will be my first piece that contains him, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head last night while I was listening to music and working.
> 
> He's a different man here than the one many may expect, but I don't think I've taken too many liberties with his character for this.

"Seto?"

He almost didn't hear the quiet whisper, but he'd spent years conditioning himself to that voice and whatever it needed. His eyes flicked open, peering through the haze to focus on a messy mop of black hair and wide, violet eyes. And he smiled. A genuine smile, reserved for one person alone, his only true company in years of virtual solitude.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Seto! I spoke to your doctor, and he said that even though the clinical trials for your medication didn't work out, he can sign you up for some Stage II trials of some other drugs. The initial results suggested that they put the cancer in remission for some patients, especially when used in conjunction with radiation therapy. Some of them are even recovering in good health now; if we take this chance, maybe it'll help, at least get it under control so you can get an organ donation."

"Slow down, Mokuba," Seto laughed, but as his chuckles turned into dry, rasping coughs, his brother was at his side instantly, offering a glass of water from the bedside table. He held it carefully as Seto drank, flinching as he came face to face with the disease ravaging his brother's body. In the dim light afforded by the drawn curtains, the legendary man was only a ghost of his former self. His hollow eyes were lined by shadows even deeper than they had been when he used to work for days on end with only a few hours of sleep, ashy pale skin drawn tight over a skeleton that had always been lean. Even his rich, chestnut brown hair had faded to a brittle dullness--a testament to his adamant refusal to partake in chemotherapy for reasons that Mokuba didn't quite understand.

Seto lay a cold, bony hand on his brother's, and Mokuba shuddered at a touch that felt so much like Death, but he forced himself to meet those icy blue eyes. They were the only things that the illness hadn't touched, remaining as clear and sharp as knives. Even now, when he felt well enough, Seto would wheedle Mokuba into bringing him his laptop so he could take care of company business in bed--though those episodes were growing further and further apart and for shorter periods of time.

"Mokuba. This is enough. _All_ of this has been enough. I don't want to prolong my life by being in a drugged stupor or hooked up to machines for the rest of my life. If I'm going to die, I want it to be on my terms."

"But, Seto... Who will take care of the business for you?" Mokuba winced. "I mean, you've made Kaiba Corp into a giant in the gaming business. There's nobody who can step into your shoes--"

"And you especially don't want to, right?" Seto arched an eyebrow as his brother turned away guiltily. "Mokuba, I know you. I _raised_ you. I know that this was never what you wanted to do, and I certainly hope that my current condition doesn't make you feel like you're obliged to join the company, much less become the CEO. In all honesty, I'd rather you didn't, not because I don't think you can do a good job, but because you need to chose a life that will make you happy. Besides, for all that I complain about the staff, there are a few who are a shade above incompetent and can avoid running Kaiba Corp into the ground. I've dealt with enough misery for the both of us--no, don't give me that guilty look. I _chose_ this. I didn't have to--"

"Because you loved me, Niisama!"

Another smile touched his lips at the childhood nickname, and he squeezed the soft, warm hand in his grasp.

"Yes. Because I loved you. And I know that if our roles were reversed, you would have done the same. But do you understand why I did it? To give you freedom to choose by yourself. I decided on a long, hard path so that you would never have to walk down the same one as me, and you always gave me the strength to continue on in my darkest times."

"Then continue on, right now. For me?" The plea was almost childish, a desperate bargain that would have sounded more at home on the lips of someone twenty years younger. In a softer man, it might have provoked an impossible promise, but Seto Kaiba was not soft. He never had the chance to be. He'd lived his life grounded in hard facts and cold truth, to the point that some called him heartless, mechanical, a robot that surpassed the technology he himself created. And though he loved Mokuba and had coddled him many times before, this was not the time for it. Pretending nothing was wrong, that everything could be fixed, would only make the inevitable conclusion that much harder on both of them.

"You have to understand, Mokuba." His voice was soft, maybe even gentle, as he let go of his brother to try to prop himself up, grimacing as the attentive young man was instantly standing again, placing pillows behind Seto's back to support him. "Pancreatic cancer is difficult to cure, as it's often caught too late, like mine. Sure, maybe medicines and radiation therapy will help a bit, but at what cost? It's bad enough that you see me like this, in the comfort of my home, that you have to watch over me as if I were already on my deathbed. How much worse will it be, if _everyone_ knows--and even worse, pities me? How do you think I would feel if Mutou were to show up on my doorstep with condolences, or Mazaki came to spout her ridiculous platitudes about friendship? And what about the rest of the goddamned world that takes such an _interest_ in the lives of the rich and famous, crowding around my private hospital room like a flock of vultures?

"Right now, I'm still myself--I can think clearly and understand what's going on around me. But maybe in a few months, I'll become some drooling invalid; is that the last memory of me that you want? Cleaning up my piss because I'm no more capable of taking care of myself than a baby?" Seto's voice had risen as he continued, his face growing crimson with shame as another coughing fit overtook him. Tears were spilling over his brother's eyes as Seto helped himself to the water jug, his hands trembling as he poured another glass and drank it slowly. When he spoke again, it was in an almost-whisper.

"Death is a natural part of life, and it comes for everyone. It just came earlier than expected for me," Seto said with a wry smile. But his expression turned serious as he gazed into damp violet. "If you truly love me, Mokuba, let me die with dignity, as I have lived. Mourn me as is proper, but don't give up on your own life and your own wishes for my sake. Promise me."

And ever so slowly, as if the motion put him in agonizing pain, Mokuba nodded.


End file.
